Not Sleeping
When I close my eyes, the motion make me seasick. Sort of a blurry, drifting, wobbling feeling.
Memories swish around and fold into other things.
Loaded down with cliches. Needing to “find myself.” Need reasons. Destinations. Goals. Motives.
Bored and tired. Can only motivate for a few hours at a time, and then it’s all meaningless again.
I question almost everything except what needs it, which I don’t recognize.
It feels like everything’s over, finished. Just hanging around, now.
What’s next? Who will I be tomorrow?
Who was I yesterday?
I go in circles. No one can answer these questions for me. I can’t answer them. The end. There’s nowhere to go from there, so I start over.