(Warning: May wander aimlessly.) LAN party last weekend at Atox’s was a lot of fun. I managed to not schitz out, I think. Chad ran into The Bartender at Tony’s Sunday night, who was with her ex-. That could explain some things. Shada’s been particularly ornery lately. I can’t stand her chewing on the blinds [...]
Cycling through different aspects of last weekend’s events. First, of course, was the initial “there’s something horribly wrong with me” conclusion. This isn’t anything new to me, but the severity of it was pretty frightening. One interpretation of what happened was that, indeed, all my fears were justified, and that I am a creepy bastard. [...]
saturday – bartender celebrating birthday. met her parents. monday – bartender actual birthday. talked a lot. didn’t drink much. around 2am, she told me to ask her out. did. accepted. swapped numbers. agreed on wednesday. surprised. astonished. spent remainder of night in bliss-haze. tuesday – called, texted – no response. wednesday – called, texted, hung [...]
(more of the same, but sober, this time.) tying myself in knots is what i’m doing. running in circles. the only thing i want more than going down there and spending a few hours in an alcoholic haze and occasionally making eye contact with her is to not be a goddamned creepy stalker. she knows [...]
this is going to suck. full of self-important whining bullshit. pretty much like everything else on here, really. scaring myself. trying to half-do a bunch of things i don’t really believe, and then disappointed in my progress. the going-out thing isn’t working. in fact, after making serious inroads on transferring my Donna-obsession over to a [...]