Is being locked-in and unchanging a good place for me? Is it a good thing for others if I am? (I can sometimes tell if I’m “onto something” if, instead of writing about it, I would rather spend twenty minutes with some canned air and some unfolded nail clippers cleaning most of the cat hair [...]
Started this as an outline of things I want to write about, but I can’t generate enough words to : Physical self as identity. Body, hair, clothes, possessions. Form changes, people still know me. I’m still “me,” whatever that means. I was worried about what effects my haircut and subsequent mustachectomy would have on my [...]
Approach sleep. Uncomfortable. Roll over. Repeat. I don’t want to fall asleep thinking the things I’m thinking. Maybe getting ‘em out will help. Help me sleep, anyway. When I’m laying in bed and Shada curls up by my elbow, I usually end up thinking about the past. I think of being in bed with Sue [...]
Another low-content post, ’cause I feel guilty for not having posted. Been meaning to for a few days now, but can’t get the words together. Got today off for Columbus Day. Woo. So far I’ve spent it going around in circles. There are people I need to not think about so much, but I’m going [...]
I don’t feel right dumping this stuff on here. It feels good, but that doesn’t mean anything. Just mildly cathartic. Woke up two hours ago. Can’t sleep. Just keep looping; the last year, the last two years, three years… over and over. I did everything wrong. Can’t get Donna out of my head. I loved [...]
Started to crash this evening. Didn’t know what to do with it. Wound up calling Sue and whining at her for a little bit, but… there’s no point in it. It’s nothing specific, and nothing real. I’ve spent the last two hours trying to put it into words here and wondering if I even should. [...]