Shada and I have both been sick. She threw up on some dirty laundry yesterday, and then on my bed, and then again by the front door. She’s acting alright, though, and her appetite seems unchanged–maybe she just caught a lizard or something that disagreed with her. I left work early yesterday and took today [...]
Today, like yesterday, started off well. Solidly awake, showered, dressed, out the door. That was it for my positive momentum. Waffle House bungled my order, but I didn’t complain or correct them. I should have. I’m going to be tasting onions all day. I berated myself for this and everything I could think of for [...]
Lousy day. Mostly just internally. I got up early, got to work early, and settled into a seething black funk that persisted until most of the trip home. Some whiny crap I was jotting down off and on: not quite to panic but getting close. want to take a nap. maybe just need food. not [...]
Things are afoot at work. Within a couple months I’ll be in the same building as Donna. Angst? Dread? I guess. I really want to talk to her about it, but I’m being [steadfast? stubborn? resolute? a jackass?] in my no-contact policy (which is essentially doomed, anyway). I think it’s in everyone’s best interest… but [...]
I’ve been having some disturbing dreams lately. Or at least, I’ve been remembering them for a little bit longer than usual. Part of this morning’s was about Donna apologizing to me, and telling me that it wasn’t about my feet. And then, her boyfriend apologizing to me. That doesn’t make any sense at all. I [...]
Something occurred to me on the way home last night. It wasn’t quite a thought, but more than a feeling. I can do things. I can do things I want to do. I don’t have to be somebody else to please Donna, or Sue, or anyone. It felt like exhaling. Everything got lighter (weight and [...]