Predictable behavior given size and make-up of crowd. Light drinking, no freak-out. All the same, though, guilt. Looking for reasons to feel lousy. She’s not perfect, and even if she were — let go. The fact that I’ve spent fifteen minutes trying to put these thoughts into words — and have those words not sound [...]
Tonight’s the office Christmas party. Last year I skipped it because it was too crazy crowded; this year, because I didn’t really want to have to dress up to go to a party. I also realized that I don’t own any shirts that don’t have holes in them. Landed pretty hard after work today; wound [...]
Hard to sleep. Very tired, resting feels good, but antsy. Fidgety. This is going to be cliché and melodrama. I’ve tried to break up or reword the automatic phrases to ensure verity and clarify metaphor, but it remains a fluffy, abstract chunk of thought. A long time ago I filled a space in my head [...]
An hour, two, maybe a day, maybe move out. Physically, mentally, emotionally. Needneedneedneedneedneed. Just stop it already.