…than I thought it would. Didn’t get drunk AND didn’t get thrown out. The paranoia is mostly gone again. Shada’s been “acting out” recently. Not sure what’s up with her. Need to race around the apartment with her more. Work is tolerable. Still haven’t been to the new tequila bar that opened up next door. [...]
I need to write to get it out of me. I don’t think this is all true, but it’s a possibility, and it’s in my head, and it’s how I feel. Maybe putting it in black-and-white will disprove it. Simply: JB’s crowd is avoiding me. No one wants to be “the bad guy” and just [...]
We took Zoe to her new home last Saturday (the 13th). It’s just west of the old ARC warehouse on 70. They’ve got a large (but friendly) dog, and a new kitten. Zoe seemed to be adapting when we left; still hissing at the dog, of course, but her fur had settled down and she [...]
Much to write about, but still arguing with it all in my head.
Things I want to get out before I sleep and forget them. 1. Yeah, “if you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.” We’ve all heard it. I thought I understood it. I didn’t, and likely still don’t. It’s a goofy pseudo-”deep” lyric. There’s nothing freeing about choosing not to choose. It [...]
Go to sleep before you send her email. No good will come of telling her how happy last fall and winter are in your memory. That she gave you something to look forward to — even if it was imaginary — will not warm her heart. It doesn’t matter what you want to be real, [...]
Woke up this morning at 6am to a loud banging noise from downstairs. I figured the new landlord’s workman was doing something; figured I’d call her this afternoon and ask why he had to do it at 6am. Upon actually leaving for work later, I went to put a load of laundry in the wash. [...]
Shrink today. Subject: Losing weight. What’s my goal? Just “to weigh less.” That’s not really a goal, is it? How do I know when I’ve lost enough? If “any amount” works, it’s a sort of meaningless goal. So without specifying how much I want to lose, it’s sort of doomed to be an unattainable goal. [...]
Sue found a new home for Zoe. Zoe is the cat she picked up from a box of kittens outside K-Mart one day during the summer of 1999. Since I moved out, Zoe has been strictly outdoors-only, and her temperament has improved incredibly. She’s no longer the bite-without-warning kind of cat; Sue even trusts her [...]
I sort-of broke up with Karren on Saturday. Slowed down, stepped back, whatever you want to call it. I feel like an ass in a dozen different ways. She deserves better.