I recognize that my decisions and my actions are not caused by the actions of others, but to discard the idea that “if not for x, y would not have happened” is missing the point. If not for Donna, I believe I would be in a very different place right now. I’m not blaming her, [...]
I don’t know what I’m doing. A couple weeks ago, I told my new landlord that I didn’t want to sign a year-long lease. Six months, sure, it’d probably take me that long to find a house. I really wanted a house. Sent some mail to the gang to see if anyone wanted to do [...]
Do I just need to decide with whom I want to be by myself? That’s as succinct as I can make it, but sounds like gibberish. I sometimes feel alone even when I’m with friends. It feels like I’d rather be elsewhere, around (vaguely undefined) people. Am I going to eventually feel this way regardless [...]
The current big push at work should be settled down next week. That’ll be nice. My therapist said (not to see you no more, she said you’re like a disease, without any cure, she said I’m so obsessed that I’m becoming a bore, oh, no…) I need to figure out how to determine truth from [...]
I want to talk to someone. The people I want to talk to don’t. The people that do, I don’t think it would help. I don’t know if those are simply facts or paradox-inducing statements of causality. I don’t think anyone can help, really. Talking would just treat the symptom, and not the cause. But [...]
Friday morning I got up late and was rushed getting in to work. I don’t like getting to work late, although I do it regularly. I was worried about the project I’m supposed to be working on, and anxious about seeing Sue that afternoon, and pretty upset about Skit. None of that excuses losing my [...]
He joined us some time in 1995 or 1996, when we were living on Hickory. We thought he was a stray; no collar, hungry. We learned later that some neighbors had left him a whole bunch of food when they had to leave for several days, but he’d eaten it all right away, and then [...]