Spent the weekend with K. It was fun, but a little nerve-wracking. She re-introduced me to some folks I went to high school with, and it involved being surrounded by a lot of people I really didn’t know, and that always leaves me a little flaky. Good people, however. It feels strange when I’m around [...]
I know, it’s not much of a thing to say after being out for so long. Work has been steadily turning up the tension for next week’s release. In summary, nothing much has particularly changed the last couple weeks. Still seeing K. on the weekends. Still moody, psychotic, and self-obsessed. Paying bills. Feeding cat. Rush [...]
2.48 miles. Went the long way there, the short way back. Got to Mrs. Winners to find a sign on the door: “CLOSED, WILL OPEN LATER – MGMT”. Well, it won’t kill me to go another two blocks to Burger King, right? Well… managed to lose $20 from my pocket during my walk, so there [...]
I want to put all this down here and get it out of me, but it’s all still muddled up. Doubt, obsession, angst, paranoia. K., D., work, friends. All spinning around and blurring. The differences between who I am when I’m with different people, or even just alone, are confusing; the way I feel and [...]
I’ve been gradually becoming more aware now of my weaknesses; my self-centered thinking, my insufficient willpower in the face of physical pleasure or emotional safety, my tendency to put off the necessary until it’s too late, or (alternatively) bail early on things that could be good. Aware, but I still don’t know what to do [...]
Thirty minutes out, an hour sitting and reading at a restaurant, then forty-five minutes back. Google Earth estimated round trip 3.14 miles.
I want past this. Through it, beyond it, whatever. I want out. Yesterday was okay. My first day of being a real, full-time employee instead of a contractor. Dropped by the apartment on my way to Cookeville, discovered that I’d left the AC off. I gave Shada a bit of fresher water, cracked the windows [...]